DANCING ON SPICE

What an amazing week on Dancing On Ice. The skating was good, but it's the saucy shananigans back stage that have made the headlines this week. Firstly, Christopher Dean the plasticine-faced mid-Atlantic accented one of the partnership Torvill and Dean has been (allegedly) having a bit of how's your father with fellow judge and married Karen Barber.

Following his recent split from his wife, Karen has been caught on camera leaving Chris's apartment each morning and has been quoted as being 'very supportive' of Chris during his marital separation.

Next came the news that the gooning, grinning ex-contestant and ex-goalkeeper David Seaman has been divorced from his wife following his admission of adultery with fellow skater Frankie Poultney. Sandwich Short of a Picnic David you may recall, left his wife and two sons for Debbie who worked as a receptionist at Arsenal FC. A million pound marriage photo shoot followed in Hello with Dave the Rave claiming 'this time it's for good'. Two more children followed and then Dave gets a guest spot on the first series of Dancing on Ice. Dave and Frankie's eyes meet across the ice rink and the rest is history. They now share a £500k riverside apartment and Debbie the ex is left 'devastated' that she's lost quite possibly the dullest man in England to that little minx Frankie.

I can't quite shake off the idea that Dancing On Ice a poor mans version of Strictly Come Dancing. It's camp and a tad annoying with the nice yet dull Torvill and Dean, the gay nasty and slightly delusional judge Jason and the blubbering Karen Barber. The professional skaters mostly look like Eastern European sex workers. However this year, there's an added spice. Jason the gay bad tempered judge likened Sharron Davies's costume and routine to 'faecal matter that won't flush away'. And there was me thinking it was just sliding round on skates and being lifted up in the air a few times.

Despite the flings and fall outs this year, the brilliant routines of the very lovely Poulton-le-Fylde local boy Daniel Whiston partnered this year by the equally lovely Bispham girl Hayley Tamaddon are outstanding. Their skating in Sunday's Slumdog Millionaire routine was sensational and rightly deserved the full sweep of maximum scores. Brilliant to watch and odds-on favourites to win.