Sunday, 3 January 2010


Ok, here we go again with ITV1's latest showing of bilge. I thought it couldn't get any worse after the All Star Impression Show endured over christmas, but yes, I'm afraid it can. Take Me Out offers an new slant on the Blind Date format - a dating show hosted thoughout the 80's and 90's by Cilla Black.

Hosted by Peter Kay's sidekick Paddy McGuiness who tries very hard in a kind of cheeky chappie Northern way, it parades numerous women who all vie for the 'win' of being singled out by the prize male who is offered for their delectation by performing a 30 second speech, song, dance or novelty act. The prize male then gets to choose the final two girls by rejecting one and going for a date with the other.

Sitting exasperated with the show rolling on between Paddy's attempts at cheeky comments, the girls saying their vacuous comments, the boys trying ever so hard to impress, it all looks a little desperate. ITV desperate for grabbing Saturday night viewers, Paddy McGuinness desperate to break away from Peter Kay's shadow and adverts for Greggs the pie shop and appear a credible alternative to Vernon Kay, and just a hint of desperation from girls and boys for a little whiff of fame. Perhaps they should just cut to the chase and get the boy to come on and say 'I want a shag' and then the girl (generally called Chanelle) who's icon is Katie Price with the biggest norks and most extensive dental work exclaims with some panache 'I will give you a shag'. There it is, that's the crux of the programme. My version of Take Me Out would only last 4 minutes though... and that includes the post-coital cigarette.


  1. brilliant H, indeed a total sick bucket of a programme. Won't be long before there's the ubiqitous "celebrity" version- I wonder if Holly Wibblywobbly tits, Davina, "the Pricey", Amanda 'claps like a seal' Holden, et al will be champing at the bit already in anticipation !! of course, the host can't be Paddy Mac- too basic. Are you busy Brucie ??

  2. Hi Dave. Thanks for checking out my blog. I need a bit of practice to be as good as Pasta Paulie!

    The host for the above surely has to be Donny Osmond? I think Brucie may be busy either playing golf or practicing reading the autocue for SCD 2010. I am not doddery, doddery I am not - Toss bucket

  3. Yep Take Me Out has finally reached its sell by date much to the delight of most, myself didnt mind it compared with what we are now subjected to on a Saturday night. What was that tosh last nite all about; "Short and Shorter" are decidedly a tad unfunny, untalented and overpaid.
    There are also certain people on TV at the moment who are really getting on my pips:-

    1. Daffny (off Eggheads) who thinks she knows every answer when she doesn't; Clasps her head in her hands when other co members get it wrong and annoyingly has that I don't know the answer; I'll have a guess; Oh did I get it right?!; oh dear hahaha.

    2. Anything and Everything to do with Katie Price aka Jordan/Andre/Reed or owt else she calls herself but we all have a name for her.

    3. Anything and Everything to do with ex Icelandic, coke taking waste of space Kerry Katona; And her ex follicly challenged 'hanger on' partner.

    4. For corrie followers; Sunitta's theatreically acclaimed, oscar winning, BAFTA awarded long lost Aunties who undoubtably got their acting skills from their nephew in law Devandra AKA Manchester's own Tiger Woods.

    5. The takeover of the Terry Wogan show- Chris Evans. Whoever thought at the BBC that a ginger square peg could fit in Wogan's (bad syrup, big ears) round hole.

    6. The (I've had my cake and ate it) John Terry saga. And the Wayne Bridge- Goldilocks and the three bears AKA (Vanessa Perroncel and the two lions)
    "whos been sleeping in my bed?"
    "who's been eating Marmite/my mate?"

    7. Stupid, ridiculous, pointless, unnecesary, regretibly bad tattoos:-
    i) The once Mrs Cole (back of the neck, WHY????)
    ii) Kym Marsh, the black squiggles on her left shoulder which are constantly shoved infront of the camera.
    iii) Leona Lewis with that squiggle on her back apparently for the love of horses, eh????

    9. Talking of Leona Lewis who but who wants to bid through an auction to win 1 hour of Leona's precious time.
    First question Leona- "How much was your boob job?"
    "WHAT, you mean they're natural!?"
    But you were so flat chested when you won '36DD factor'.
    Time Up!

    10. And last of all-
    Four things I don't get:-
    Peter Kay (unfunny)
    Bob Dylan (drones)
    Fishing (rather put pins in my eyes)
    Sex addicts (aren't we all!)

  4. Hi Mark. Hope you feel better now after getting that lot off your chest! All good shouts particularly the shy and retiring Ms Price and the Corrie aunties.
    And if we're all sex addicts, I don;t remember joining the self-help rehab group!
    Keep the comments coming...