Sunday, 3 January 2010


Although there wasn't a great deal of newsworthy events going on over christmas, one news item did catch my eye. The Sun broke the story of a married premiership manager being caught visiting a brothel. The Sun claimed that this wasn't an isolated incident, the same manager had visited this establishment on previous occasions. However, due to privacy laws, the press cannot publish the man's name although there is plenty of speculation around the internet.

This wasn't a high class, discreet brothel considered to be the outlet of choice for a married, millionaire premiership manager. Mr.Shitforbrains (wearing club tracksuit) decides to visit a pre-fabricated unit on an industrial estate known locally as a massage parlour employing Thai and Far Eastern girls.
Aside from all the obvious arguments about married men frequenting brothels, human trafficking, potential blackmail etc etc. one of the main problems here is the recent legislation on privacy laws. This started last year when motor racing's Max Mosely was 'outed' by the News of the World for taking part in a 'Nazi-themed orgy' with a number of prostitutes. It was decided that individuals have the basic human right to 'privacy and a family life' and therefore the reporting of sexual transgressions are not deemed to be in the public interest. In a nutshell, under privacy law papers may not publish things that are true.

My view is this, if you're in the public eye and you wish to visit brothels, go dogging on Hampstead Heath, participate in Nazi-themed orgies, or wear a Chelsea kit whilst having sex with an escort girl, take the risk and the consequences of the British press having the freedom of speech and legitimate reporting rights to disclose it. Otherwise, don't do it, or if you have a limited amount of self-control and perhaps too much money then do it a little more discreetly.

Just for fun (and hopefully outside the privacy laws for fear of libel) here's Miss Marples' deduction on who done the dirty deed....

Ferguson - Non runner. At 69, he's a bit puffed out from all that shouting at 4th officials and would probably need Viagra.
Ancellotti - 14-1 on. Italian sex drive but probably prefers a night in learning English.
Redknapp - 4-1. Liked Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and seen regularly ordering a green Thai curry from his local takeaway. Seen to twitch a lot when 'rubdown' mentioned.
O'Neill - 22-1.
McCarthy - 14-1. Rumoured only to get excited by pit ponies and likes his women to wear a miners uniform whilst moaning 'by 'eck lad, that's a cracking lump of anthracite'
Brown - 2-1 on Joint Favourite. Has a look of the nightclub regular, shirt open, medallion-wearing Lothario.
Megson - Non runner - would bore the girls to death during foreplay
Mancini - Non runner. Was out of the country so has alibi. Looks a randy bugger though.
Pullis - Non runner. Was having baseball cap surgically removed at the time.
McLeish - 40-1. Possibility but being Scottish, wouldn't like paying for it.
Allardyce - 4-1. Visiting a lock-up on an industrial estate? Yep, he's one of the favourites
Coyle - 100-1. Only paid £15k a year from Burnley so couldn't afford a handjob let alone full sex
Benitez - 4-1. Possibility. Needs something to distract from his team's recent p*ss-poor games.
Grant - 5-1. The quiet ones are always the worst
Zola - 4-1. One of the favourites. Italian testosterone and penchant for wearing tracksuits
Wenger 2-1 Odds on. Big favourite but unfortunately, while the sex is going on, he's in the dugout and doesn't see the actual incident.

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