Wednesday, 6 January 2010


If anyone saw the 'Best Adverts of the Decade' programme over christmas, you couldn't help but agree there's been some clever, creative and downright brilliant adverts produced which will no doubt fulfill their purpose and be forever remembered in the nation's psyche.
Two adverts stick in my my mind for their creativity, simplicity yet brilliance... the Honda advert showing a single-take domino effect of car parts complete with Rappers Delight background track. Also the ingenious Skoda advert showing a team of bakers making an edible version of the car. I loved seeing the 'engine' being topped up with Golden syrup and liquorice used as a fan belt. Genius! Currently being televised is the superb Evian advert showing babies rollerblading to again, Rappers Delight by the Sugerhill Gang. It just makes you smile every time you watch it.

And so the the adverts which don't make me smile but have me reaching for the remote quicker than Van Morrison from a paternity suit....In other words, here's the current crop of adverts which are memorable for all the wrong reasons;

1. - Italian tenor with ridiculous moustache. Not an obvious choice there?
2. - premise is to repetitively state website until you consider self harm.
3. - with Russian-speaking meerkat in smoking jacket. Crap - simples
4. DFS / CSL - How many times do need to see beautiful people lounging on a £399 red sofa with no interest to pay for 4 years?
5. Gold Adverts - particularly bad but check out for jaw-dropping crapness.
6. Glade Touch & Fresh - 'I want to go to Paul's for a poo'. Personally, I want to hold the little bleeder's head down Paul's toilet for a very long time whilst flushing repeatedly.
7. Safestyle UK - Classy 'celeb' endorsements shouting at us to Buy One Get One Free or BOGOF.
8. National Accident Helpline - 'I was walking for my smear test appointment when I tripped on some dog shit and badly injured by knee. I rang Accident Helpline and was given a cheque for £5000'. Wish they'd have rung me. My helpline would have advised 'WELL IT'S YOUR OWN BLOODY FAULT YOU CLUMSY GET, YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS'

Send in suggestions for more horrors which I may have overlooked...


  1. Talking of (pass the sick bucket)adverts the Thomas Cook with the oh so in love Redknapp duo takes the biscuit!!!

  2. Hi Mark,
    Yep, good shout. The nauseating Redknapp's also get on my wick somewhat. Keep the comments coming now you've got the account sorted!


  3. Been tuning into GMTV 1st thing lately and as its not summer havent been subjected to Mr Spandex cum bum bag Motivator all rite!!!!.Do we really need to be woken up to that at 7.00am but now we have whooping Camilla at that un godly hour gimme strength."I'm just going to introduce some complex moves for you advanced ones out there.Lets clap hands and not only move forwards but its tricky this one lets move sideways"For pete's sake bum bag and plimsoll queen no more!!!!!

  4. Hi Mark,
    I gave up on gmtv once the overly hairsprayed buffoon Andrew Castle attempted hard-hitting political questioning with his equally frivolous and vacant partner Kate Garraway. Something on the lines of... 'So, Prime Minister, will you be voting for Jedward this weekend?' Tosser

  5. Went round to see Fish Finger Butty last Sunday with 2 of my rugrats
    Pleasant afternoon watching footie cant be bad and on leaving was offered some Quality Street to takeaway..... wonderful seeing as I was chocless at home till I got home to find all the best soft centred chocs had been nabbed and I had the left-overs like you get at the chippie(burnt crinkly chips)so thanks Fish Finger butty I now have about 3 teeth left groovy!!!!

  6. Mark,
    If you visit on January 18th, expect crap christmas chocs to be left ie. coffee creams, country fudge and golden toffee. As for teeth, get yourself some falsies like Simon Cowell.

    Your selfish FFB sis xx