I've been invited to a 50th birthday party and felt immediately queasy when I saw the words '70's theme fancy dress'. Fancy dress inspired parties do not rock my boat or give me the same amount of giggling pleasure as it seems to with most other people. I don't see the appeal of hiring wearing smelly clothes and wigs worn by many others and somewhere you'd never find me is by a sewing machine running up a flared blouse. My sewing kit consists of 3 needles and a black and white cotton reel. I then have the added headache of never knowing what to dress up as. I've been on the internet looking for inspiration for influential female characters from the 70's. I've so far come up with Margaret Thatcher, Chris Evert, Nancy Spungen and Purdey from the Avengers. One of the girls has suggested the four of us (all nurses) go as the Village People. I suppose if you're going to look a prat, it may as well be done big style. So, four female respectable and professional nurses will be dressing up as stereotypical gay fantasy personas. I bagged the construction worker pretty much straight away as I already have a hard hat and caterpillar boots from my days at BT. The other girls are negotiating their roles between the Brokeback Mountain cowboy, George Michael's 'Outside' traffic cop, Minces with Wolves red Indian, or going commando. Somehow, I imagine the handlebar-moustached leather biker persona will be the hardest to fill. Especially with that much chest hair on show.
The party host has now got wind of our costume choices and has got all excited thinking we are going to do a full dance routine of Y-M-C-A in front of a watching audience of 80 party goers. She also mentioned a karaoke version and being filmed...
I think I'm going to be sick....
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