Monday, 10 January 2011
The Beckhams have just announced the couple are expecting a fourth child this summer. There's already speculation of the child's sex and indeed the Beckham's have previously spoken about their desire to have a little girl. I'm sure the Beckham's would be thrilled to have another little boy, but a daughter would help balance the books so to speak.
Speaking from personal experience and being the only girl with three older brothers, baby Beckham will be in for quite a childhood. Forget 'mama' or 'dada', for her first word will be 'Manchester United'. She will get used to trikes, hot wheel cars, football boots, Meccano, Action Man and underpants being heavily used words of choice and usual sights around the home. Her brothers will introduce her to spiders and frogs very quickly and she learn to laugh it off (through repressed tears) as one of them will be deposited down her pink pyjamas when she least expects it. She will learn to fight dirty very quickly because she'll be teased mercilessly. She will be set up by her brothers at mealtime to say things like 'mum, what's sexual intercourse?' whilst they sit sniggering innocently. She will be picked for all the worst sporting positions in sibling football and cricket matches - getting used to being the goalie or fielder who has to retrieve balls batted into nettles, ponds, through neighbours windows or roughly 3 miles away. She will have her dolls hair cut short or have their faces painted with the word 'die bitch'. She will fall hopelessly in love with her older brother's friends. She will wait hours to get in the bathroom and when she eventually does, the toilet seat will be up, there'll be no toilet paper and she'll fight through a fog of steam more akin to a Turkish bath.
For all that, she'll have a great grounding in life. For all the teasing, she'll also have the unconditional protection of three big brothers and woe betide any lad who treats her badly. She'll be resilient and develop social skills which will stand her in good stead in the company of men. She will never struggle in male company when talking about sport or cars. She will laugh a lot when she gets together with her brothers and most of all, she will be very blessed.