Tuesday, 11 May 2010


It is with much annoyance that I sit here typing slowly with one hand after goosing my shoulder yet again. In technical terms, I have torn my rotator cuff, have a tear in my deltoid muscle and have tendonitis. This splendid list was the conclusion from a junior doctor after spending nearly 3 hours in A&E last night. To my embarrassment, having sat there in agony and finally being seen, stretched and pulled, I started off bravely enough but one twist too many and the tears began to flow. Fortunately, the doctor was very nice and didn't roll his eyes or stick his head round the curtains shouting over to his colleagues 'Christ, we've got a right mard arse here'. 

I've always been a softie when I hurt myself. I seem to have a weirdly low pain threshold and just can't stand pain like other stoical souls who face pain with enormous bravery. I'm just crap with pain. Always have been. There's 3 things I can guarantee will happen on the onset of me suffering severe and enduring pain...

1. cry 
2. vomit 
3. faint 

Anyway, I had a week off work and was perhaps doing too much lifting, digging and building in my garden. I have to remember that concreting, re-roofing sheds, jet washing, taking 3 tons of crap to the tip, painting fences and sheds, digging and mowing is not as easy to joints and muscles that aren't 21 any more. 

The prognosis was that it'll get better if I take ibroprofen, painkillers and rest. Showering, drying hair, putting bra on, taking bra off and blow-drying hair is near-impossible. And don't mention changing gears whilst driving. It's pure agony and sleeping is madly difficult. 

Excuse me a minute... I think I'm going to cry and vomit....


  1. well i would have done your hair for you and assisted with clothing, but as you used to flick hellmans on my undies i think not! - but seriously tho - i do hope your soon feeling better take care dodgy dave x

  2. Well, it just shows how flicking mayonnaise at a neighbour's underpants can come back to haunt you! Thank you for your gracious offer. It's morning again now and I'm just psyching myself up to getting showered and dressed. Tears and vomit await - and that's just whilst the bra goes on..