Saturday, 15 May 2010


Busy day at Fishfingerbutty Towers. After securing my prized tickets for next Saturday's Wembley final, I returned home with a spring in my step. I gazed towards the heavens and saw sunny blue skies which means only one thing... hit the garden. 
Despite a still dodgy shoulder, I decided to paint and stain all the wooden things in my garden which were previously painstakingly sanded down to within an inch of their life. My shed got a Ronseal job in blue. Not the customary shed colour I agree, but it looks pretty damn good. I even managed to replace weatherboards by sawing angles without the aid of a mitre saw and nail them into position. I now own the mutt's nuts of sheds. My mower and tools now have a mo-fo crib painted blue and it has power as well. My goodness.   
I acquired an old and decrepit bench from my parents and I've repaired, replaced rotten wood, strengthened, sanded and stained it. Bloomin' marvellous. My lawn had been mown and lovingly spread with a grass conditioner! Maybe because it's worth it.... 
Most shrubs are now adorned with solar powered blue lights. I'm expecting planes to land in my garden tonight mistaken in the belief that they are indeed landing lights for Blackpool airport. I have my fingers crossed Nigel Farage isn't out in his UKIP biplane tonight. 
After all that fresh air and painting, it was inside to catch Chelski winning the FA cup. Bad luck Pompey. All the neutrals hoped you would wipe that big smug smile off John Terry's dopey face. And then I checked my face in the mirror.... covered in wood stain. I thought I'd turned into Oprah Winfrey. 

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