JACKIE OOH.....

I've often thought that doctors and dentists surgeries have some pretty dire selections of magazines. This week whilst sat trembling with anticipation at the prospect of a tooth extraction, I reluctantly gave the 'Trout and Carp Monthly' a bit of a body swerve. With a discerning taste in educational supplements and keen intellectual eye, I selected a girls teen magazine for plugging my gap in knowledge of hair straighteners and Justin Bieber. Can't remember the title, but it was on the lines of 'Whatever!', 'Oh My God!' or 'That's soooo random!'. Well, a few pages in and my eyebrows were raised to dizzy heights and I began to shuffle uncomfortably in my seat in that huffing and puffing early onset middle-aged sort of way. Amongst many, many riveting features, it depicted an article on 'sex position of the week' which in graphic detail showed a female being escorted round a bedroom in the style of a wheelbarrow. I will obviously be trying this new technique in my local B&Q this weekend although the 5 litre bag of compost I need to transport to the checkout might bugger up my lower lumbar region.  
Which brings me nicely to reminiscence corner (cue the Simon Bates 'Our Tune' music)... Those naive and innocent days of the late 70's and early 80's when teen girl magazines was led firstly by Jackie and latterly by the very glorious My Guy. The Guardian recently included a supplement of an anniversary special edition of a reprinted Jackie magazine from the 1970's. Reading it again brought back some lovely nostalgic memories and a sad reflection that it was so cack when imagining how it would stand up in today's culture from the perspective of a teenage girl. Of course the answer is it wouldn't stand a cat in hell's chance. Jackie contained features and pull out posters of pop stars of the day - generally the Bay City Rollers, Donny Osmond, David Cassidy, or David Essex. Jackie had a high emphasis on romance and how to get a boyfriend through the beguiling courtship rituals using the principles based on Mr D'Arcy and Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice. It had the Cathy and Claire problem page where I'm still convinced the 'problems' were simply made up by the editorial staff. They featured seemingly angst-ridden teenage problems such as 'Colin, my boyfriend has long hair and won't go to the barbers. My dad says he looks like a big pansy and it really upsets me. I love my dad and I love Colin so much. I just want him to be accepted by my dad and get his hair cut. I can't sleep or eat for worrying so much. Please help me before I do something silly with a razor blade. Yours truly, Bernadette x'. And the reply from Cathy or Claire would be something on the lines of 'Bernadette - Colin obviously loves you but just wants to be an individual. Look love, your dad is just protecting you and wants the best for you. Carry on with your studies my darling, and show your dad you are responsible and you never know, you might get into secretarial college and a future job in the typing pool for £1200 a year. Just think of the wedding you and Colin can look forward to, and you never know, Colin might get his hair cut for the big day! Good luck love. Cathy x'. 


Anyway, can't stop I'm just off to B&Q. Must stop at Boots first for the morning after pill and some muscle rub in cream.......