Thursday, 5 August 2010


During my weekly shop at Morrisons the other night, I stopped by at the toilet tissue section. Why is it I can't just pick the nearest 4 pack and be off to more interesting parts of Morrisons? The chocolate section for example...
Trust me, I don't find toilet paper that interesting a subject - something that wipes your front or back bottom is not the most riveting subject at a cocktail party, let's be honest. It's just a strange phenomenon that draws me to loiter around the aisle, picking up toilet roll packs and reading the packaging. It's a compulsion that I can't shake off. Maybe it's because there's just so much choice. Since when did toilet rolls take up an entire aisle?  Am I right in thinking that years ago you were given two choices? Izal medicated hard toilet paper which repelled everything smeared across it and transferred the contents onto your sleeve or Timex watch. Izal was consigned to public lavatories or the houses of cheapskates. It was to be avoided at all costs. Choice two was white and soft... well, it wasn't that soft.  It chaffed like buggery but at least it wasn't Izal medicated. 
Nowadays we have roughly 73 colour choices. There's floral prints, animal prints, designer prints. Then there's the additives.. toilet roll containing aloe vera, cocoa butter, shea butter, lurpack butter. There's quilted toilet rolls, paper containing air pockets, recycled toilet rolls, environmentally friendly eco-rolls, ultra absorbent toilet paper and labrador puppy and kitten endorsed loo paper. There's moist, wet wipe paper and 99.9% antibacterial paper. There's child-friendly loo rolls and toilet rolls for those with a sense of humour containing a photo of either Bruce Forsyth or Katie Price (ok, that's a joke but you get my point?). See what I mean?.... TOO MUCH CHOICE. And rather than accept it and move on quickly, I get annoyed with myself for staying in this aisle for far too long contemplating this or that. And then after weighing up cost v style for a staggering amount of time, I go and choose a 4 pack of white loo rolls which incidentally is the same frigging choice made for the past 25 years. 

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