Monday 2 August 2010

NERDS, VERBS & COMB-OVERS....



Feeling in a nostalgic mood today after blogging about my first ever record and vinyl LPs, I've been sat having my evening meal whilst watching University Challenge. UC is one of those programmes which I tune in to occasionally and marvel at the students knowledge base which can answer questions like What precise type of quadrilateral is formed by lines drawn in order from the centre of the squares occupied by antimone polonium radon iodine and back to antipony? That was an actual question folks. The answer was of course... Rombus. EVERYONE knows that. Not only are the students very clever, they are generally also very nerdy, very twatty and very much short in the sexual experimentation department. You get the impression that they are destined for lives of scholarly research into 13th century Patagonian Hymns of the Upper Mongolian Virgin panpipers rather than media executives or investment bankers. 
And then I began racking my brains trying to remember the name of the predecessor to UC and it came to me in a moment of inspiration.... Ask The Family. Anyone of my generation will remember this quaint little quiz show running from the late 60's to the early 80's. As a kid growing up with Starsky and Hutch and programmes of equal excitement, even back then I thought Ask The Family was exceptionally dull. But dullness aside, I remember watching it for the same reason I watch UC... the twatty contestants. Here's the format to ATF... 


1. Robert Robertson - the quizmaster. Bespectacled. Rug-tastic comb over. 
2. Mum and dad - usually teachers. Mum - crap pageboy hairdo, tends to be called Janet, crooked teeth. Dad - wearing glasses, smoking pipe and last had  sexual relations with mum when they accidentally rubbed together whilst crossing on the landing. Fits the bill to the question 'how would you describe the looks of a paedophile?' Usually called Brian.  
3. Teenage children - Oh My God, where do I start? Spotty, nerdy, bespectacled, naff clothes and the type of kids who were either bullied at school or had their heads flushed down the toilets for no other reason than being called Nigel. Usually had red hair, brushed forward and cut by mum. Ambitions include working for the council, having a pension and owning a shed. 


Make your own mind up with the clip from You Tube....



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