Saturday, 27 February 2010


Who says plastic surgery is bad for your health? Lydia Carranza was working in a dentist's office in Beverly Hills when a gunman ran in and opened fire. He aimed directly at her but her size D breast implants took the full force of the bullet entry and prevented almost certain death.

Blimey, it must have been like a scene from Alien 2 when Ripley goes on a one-woman mission in search of viscous drooling aliens within the mothership.

The grandmother had the implants some years ago to change from a B-cup to a D-cup. When the gun was pointed at her, she told LA police that she 'didn't look or think about it...I just felt wet in my chest area'. I bet she did. I'd imagine her knickers were a little on the damp side as well.

Hold your horses....I can feel an email being sent to the 'New Ideas for TV gameshows' production team at ITV1... I can see it now; a new gameshow commissioned for Saturday night and hosted by Paddy McGuinness called 'Celebrity Nork Busters'. The premise is to strap Dolly Parton, Judy Finnegan, Katie Price and Holly Willoughby in chairs and fire various weapons of choice at their boobs. Starting with a peashooter and maybe working up to an AGM-65 Maverick surface-to-air nuclear missile for Dolly Parton. In the ensuing sticky mess, the girls would then be encouraged to 'silicon wrestle' in leotards whilst Paddy aims Greggs sausage rolls and pork pies from his overhead 'Mission Impossible' harness.

Hey, now that's what I call Saturday night entertainment....

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