CHERISHED PLATES

On my way home this evening, the car in front at the traffic lights had one of those personalised number plates. The car driver was a girl I worked with years ago called Diane. Her rather snazzy Range Rover sported the number plate 'D1 ROX'. Being a nurse, I kept thinking Dirox? Dirox? Is that an anti-psychotic drug? No, no hang on... is it that stuff for cystitis? Then the penny dropped.. Miss Marple here deduced that being a 40-something funky girlie called Diane, you'd obviously want to say to other road users 'Di Rocks!' Yay.. Cool...Wow! 'I drive a Range Rover and I rock yeah!'. Congratulations D1 ROX, you join all the other people who also rock.... the kids in the Romanian orphanages, Status Quo and Val Doonican in his rocking chair. Which brings me nicely on to my gripe which is why oh why do people buy naff cherished number plates?

Here's my theories...

1. An investment. They reportedly increase in value

2. Some people just have too much money

3. A desire and need to be recognised and admired? Make you feel a little self-important?

So in the spirit of research, I looked into the regtransfers website to check out the what's on offer and more importantly, how much does it cost to own a cherished or personalised number plate. Apart from the usual name initials combinations and Irish import plates, the following plates were also for sale under the heading 'naughty section'...

This subtle little plate will set you back the princely sum of £150,000. That's One-Five, Oh Oh Oh Oh...

It beggers belief who would actually display this plate on their car.. John Wayne Bobbit or John Terry perhaps? Anyway, for the disinhibited, slightly deranged rich boy, this plate can be yours for £99,995.

For the gentleman who likes to advertise the fact he takes drugs to help with erectile problems, this will set you back £60,000. They'll chuck in an electric aerial for free as well just to ram home the point (so to speak).

Judging by these photos, these celebs want to share their happiness about purchasing their cherished plates....

Chris Tarrant tries to hide his slight disappointment at having to buy his secoind choice plate after 'DO U W4NT 2 FONEAFR1END' had already been sold. At first you'd be forgiven for thinking why on earth would Chris Tarrant want to advertise a lock/security company on his plates. Then I remembered he does a bit of fishing and rather strangely bought a plate displaying a type of fish. Maybe H4 DOK had also been sold.

Keith Harris pays the ultimate tribute to the green duck who has provided him with a nice lifestyle and a black Merc to go with the cherished plates. Keith had similar problems as Chris Tarrant when his first choice plate 'HOW TO STRETCH A 30 YEAR CAREER ON I WISH I COULD FLY' couldn't fit on his Mercedes as it was a tad too wide. Keith Harris incidentally, is a neighbour of mine and I'm lucky to get to see Keith cruising round with this plate on numerous occasions.

So as a tribute to all the people with really naff cherished plates depicting fish or green ducks, or stating 'wow, I'm really cool', or 'wow, I have a penis', here's one just for you... enjoy.