SHOWERS IN FEBRUARY

Phase 3 of the shower saga gets underway at fishfingerbutty towers this morning.

This follows yet another water leak from a hole in the tile grouting. Fortunately, it wasn't so serious and there was no soaking carpets and water like the christmas tsunami.

Anyway, trusty Mike is here and cracking on with fitting new plasterboards, tiles and shower tap. I don't always see eye to eye with the building trade. Call me skeptical, but previous experience of half-a-job Johnny who drinks your tea and scoffs all your biscuits, does a half-finished job then drives off into the sunset in their white van with a healthy wad of my cash in their back pocket never to be heard of again, does do your head in somewhat.

Mike is one of those rare breed of builders who takes his shoes off when entering your house. He goes and sits in his van when he wants a cigarette. He's pleasant and does everything you ask of him with a smile on his face. He cleans up after himself and his work is fantastic. Best of all, he puts the toilet seat down after use. This man is too good to be true.

As mentioned before, I don't have the best of luck with water. In fact, Joe McIntyre from Coronation Street has better luck around water than I do. None of it is due to bad management like leaving taps on or by dodgy DIY jobs. It just decides periodically to drip then spurt from valves, gush furiously from central heating pipes cut by workmen or seep from fractured drain pipes. I've begun talking to my washer and sending it black looks and warnings to not even think about flooding my kitchen. I'm becoming a little obsessional about my kitchen U bend and launching my hand into the darkness whilst feeling for wet patches. Water gets you like that, it makes you a little barmy. The Rime of the Ancient Mariner had it sussed. Is that an albatross I see circling outside my bedroom window?....