Saturday, 27 November 2010


Tonight, on my way home from the pictures, I saw a christmas tree and a million decorations bedecking someone's house. Of course the curtains were all open which invited your eyes to stare at the horror within. And then, the gaze headed upwards to the roof where there was a landing strip of lights and get this.. an inflatable 15 foot high santa claus tethered to the chimney stack. My hometown has plenty of houses like this and each year it gets worse. And then I remembered that today's date is November 27th. Yes.. NOVEMBER. 
Probably the worst thing about the lead up to christmas is the almost constant playing of christmas records in the shops, on the radio and at your work's parties. Music fan, yes., Christmas music fan? Nooooo. Not me. Never in a month of Sundays.

Here's my list of truly awful christmas 'hits' which get me gipping and have me heading for the paracetamol and earplugs... 

Last Christmas (Wham) - Saccharin mush from George M before he was gay
Do They Know It's Christmas (Band Aid) - Sentiment was good (25 years ago)
Merry Christmas Everyone (Shakin' Stevens) - Welsh poor man's Elvis cack
Mary's Boy Child (Boney M) - Eurovision pap at it's worst 
White Christmas (Bing Crosby) His penultmate big hit before the golf ball
Merry Xmas Everybody (Slade) - overplayed to death 
Wombling Merry Christmas (Wombles) - Performed by men in hairy suits. Awful
The Millennium Prayer (Cliff Richard) - Enough to drive you to self harm
Santa Baby (Eartha Kitt) It's no coincidence that her name is cockney rhyming slang for a description of this song.
Lonely This Christmas (Mud) - worrying awful song and the video's worse
Frosty The Snowman (Jackson 5) - Michael, what were you thinking? 
I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday (Wizzard) - actually, I don't

Have I missed any? Please God I win the lottery soon so that I can fly off to the Maldives for a month and NEVER have to hear these songs again (until next November at least).   


  1. Oh you know looking at that video noddy holder does not look any different today - lol

    and as for xmas i fricking hate it with a vengance Bah humbug they shout and i don't care a hoot.

    seems my street has started with the lights, none this morning 26th nov - but tonight i am surrounded by them - lets hope there is a power cut soon :)

  2. Now this is very reminiscent of a posting I put up during last year's 'season of goodwill', or some such crap.
    I prefer to call, December 25th, 'Boxing Day Eve'.
    I'm not exactly a big fan of that song, 'The 12 Days of Boxing Day Eve'.
    Right I'm out of here. Enjoy your weekend....

  3. Thanks for the comments fellow bah humbugs!
    Dave - you're right about Noddy Holder, he hasn't changed a bit. Still same hairdo as well. Perhaps more worrying, Dave Hill has kept the same hairstyle today which is a little strange on a man approaching pensionable age.
    So a christmas KFC and Sub coffee is out of the question then? Season of goodwill and all that...

  4. what about the song all department stores play on a never ending loop-
    "All I want for Christmas is you" by the wailing warbler Pariah Scarey- as crucified in the sickly sweet movie Love Actually.
    Noticed how no-one ever plays Gary Glitter's Xmas record ?!!!

  5. Pariah Scarey hah! Yes, I forgot that one. The lady can stretch a lyric for all its worth can't she? And as for Gary Glitter, the least said about him the better. I also forgot to mention 'Driving Home for Christmas' by Chris Rea (or as I like to call him - Dire Rea)

  6. top 10 list Helen, from Yahoo !
    I rest my case......

    Mariah song is most popular Christmas hit
    Posted Thu 2 Dec 2010 12:53 GMT by Paul Johnston in Behind The Music
    Mariah Carey's song 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' has been named the most-played Christmas hit of the past ten years.

    The 1994 single finished ahead of Wham!'s 'Last Christmas' in official figures released by record industry body PPL.

    'Fairytale Of New York' by The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl was the third most-played song in the survey, which monitors plays on radio and in shops.

    Speaking about the results, PPL spokesman Jonathan Morrish said: "Music really helps define this time of year - be it songs that radio broadcasts because that's what people want to hear or the songs retailers use in store because of their mood-enhancing power. Christmas without music would be unimaginable."

    Top ten in full:

    1. All I Want For Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey
    2. Last Christmas - Wham!
    3. Fairytale Of New York - The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl
    4. Merry Xmas Everybody - Slade
    5. I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday - Wizzard
    6. Do They Know It's Christmas? - Band Aid
    7. Driving Home For Christmas - Chris Rea
    8. Stop The Cavalry - Jona Lewie
    9. White Christmas - Bing Crosby
    10. Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow! - Dean Martin

  7. Thanks for the posting. I missed a couple there didn't I? Stop the Cavalry has to be one of the most nauseous tracks and Bing crooning along for what seems to be the last 50 years with pipe in hand has me heading for the hills. The only bearable track on this list is by the Pogues/Kirsty MacColl but even that is wearing thin now..