I QUIT....

I would imagine everyone gets fed up with their jobs every now and again - especially on a Monday morning, when the clocks go back an hour, and it's raining constantly! If you think your job's bad, consider some of the alternatives...

Cleaning out sewers. Fancy an eight hour shift removing the excess fat build up from the sewers under Leicester Square in London? Call it the by-product of a zillion takeaway restaurants in and around our capital. I'll give the KFC with a side order a miss tonight methinks. 

Animal inseminator. You're tasked with having to extract sperm from farmyard animals for breeding and these are your options: manual stimulation or inserting an electrical probe up the animal's rectum to stimulate ejaculation.

Call Centre administrator. Whether it's in Swindon or Mumbai, it's a thankless job and by the time the caller gets through after having to take 32 options to get through to customer services, they're pretty hacked off. Zero job satisfaction, maximum boredom, only highlight being occasionally photo-copying your arse and getting off with Sebastian in accounts at the christmas do. 

Traffic Warden. Along with speed cameras and wheel clampers, they manage to make the lives of British motorists just a little bit more miserable. 

Mortician / Embalmer. I've attended several post mortems and trust me, they're grimsville. How these people do this job and manage to eat afterwards is a mystery to me..

Coal miner. Hard, hard work done by hard, hard men. Especially a bad career option if you live in Chile...

North Sea Trawlermen. Constant bad weather, seasickness, fish guts. Need I say more? But if you think these are bad, consider these from history....

Steeplejack / steel erector. Particularly the men who built the Empire State Building (above). No safety harnesses? No hardhats? No fear? 

Royal Groom of the Stool. During the reign of Henry VIII, a male servant had the task of cleaning the monarch's bottom after a bowel movement. History doesn't reveal whether the position came with a dental plan, a blue chip pension and weekend access to a New York loft apartment. I somehow doubt it... 


Anyone out there had worse jobs?