Today I did something very dishonest, but rather than feel any shame, I must admit it feels deliciously naughty. Call it atonement, but I feel compelled to confess. Because my job takes me here there and everywhere out in the community, I call in at the drive-through McDonalds quite often for an exceptionally good coffee stop. On the side of the carton is a strip where you collect stick on tokens also attached to the coffee carton. When you've collected six tokens, you are entitled to a free cup of coffee. Most of my colleagues have strips of these tokens and regularly obtain free coffees. Today, I was out with a colleague and after several visits, we stopped at the local McD's and ordered two coffees at the booth number 1. My colleague passed me her full token strip and I told the server (Miss filing her nails whilst looking bored) that we had a free coffee entitlement. The young lady didn't bother to take the tokens, I'm assuming she thought I'd hand it in on collecting the coffee at the next booth. Doh! Despite me shushing my colleague from her incessant 'Here.. use my card, give her the card', the card remained in my tightened grip. We drive to the next booth to collect the coffees and no request for tokens and certainly no handing over from the driver of the car that smells of wet dogs.
Result - two coffees, paid for one, full strip for another free coffee still intact. Yes, it's dishonest but here's my dubious defence...
a) However small, it's so surprisingly lovely to get one over on a £multi-billion cholesterol-inducing industry like McDonalds
b) Employ staff who look even remotely interested and have a modicum of intelligence (ie. slightly above pond life or Premiership footballers) to realise that to obtain a free coffee using tokens, you really should be taking the tokens from the customer.
c) I put a £1.50 donation which is roughly the amount of a McD's coffee in the children's charity box. Even I'm not THAT dishonest. Partial absolution surely?
Another little sneaky trick is when you receive your coffee, ask for extra empty cup or two claiming the cartons are too hot to handle. I'm sure McDonalds are so frightened of litigation suits for burnt fingers and hands, they normally pass you a couple of spare cups which, lo and behold, also provide you with a couple of tokens towards your next freebie coffee.
Oh I know, it's a little pathetic and heaven knows I can afford £1.39 for a coffee, but it's just brightens your day in eager anticipation that if you're confident enough, you might just get away it.
Tune in next week for tips on securing a £500million gold bullion heist by driving your Mini Cooper through the streets of Milan whilst cleverly disguising yourself by looking like an English tourist drinking McDonalds coffee.