Saturday, 5 June 2010


Today was the day the morris dancers were let out on community treatment orders for our local town's gala procession. It's a big day in the town's social calendar where most of the community turn out in the streets to watch the procession, get drunk then head off to the local fair to throw up on the waltzers. It's a great day for the kids who sit on the floats looking a tad bored in their costumes with their adoring and tearful mums following chirping 'Sebastian, stop picking your nose and pull your costume straight'. And then there's the rose queen. I always remember as a kid having a secret desire that the rose queen with her perfectly coiffured hair, long dress and white gloves would trip up on her evening gown and fall off the travelling lorry into horse muck. Maybe I was just an evil tomboy who would never be selected to look like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffanys.  I watch them these days, and they are the similar swotty girls from my childhood although my wish for them to fall off moving transport has diminished over time. 
And then, the highlight of the day would be walking down to the local playing fields and on to the fair. Of course as kids, we'd already been there on the Friday evening known as 'Danger Night'. The rides seemed to go faster and a little longer on danger night. The fair lads would be out in force looking hard on the rides with their gold teeth and tattoos. There was a delicious air of excitement and danger on the Friday evening and our parents used to worry like mad about us being there. The rides were so good as well. I loved the waltzers, the octopus (or Typhoon?), and speedway and particularly loved the 'DJ' in the control box cheesily egging us on by his line 'ok girls, scream if you wanna go faster'. Yep, we screamed, and yes we went faster. The Saturday fair was a family day out and was never as good as the night before. If you were lucky, a lad would take you on the parachute ride and after a quick snog and winning a goldfish, it was the ONLY topic of conversation at school on Monday.  
I drove past there earlier and saw a posse of girls heading down in their make-up giggling like only teenage girls can do. It took me back....

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