Monday, 11 October 2010


Sorry to disappoint you as you rush to read my blog after spotting such a provocative and eye-catching title. No gimp masks or nipple clamps this time I'm afraid - perhaps that'll come in later blog if I manage to get to Amsterdam this year. The S&M I'm alluding to is simply the joy of sausage and mash. That great British menu favourite is adorning my dining table tonight. Aah yes, we Lancastrians know how to live a bit. I was obviously inspired by this week's The Apprentice task where the girls beat the boys at producing sausages sourced from Smithfield Market and selling them to the greatest profit. The girls went for gourmet sausages with a high meat content and flogged them for ludicrous prices in London's financial centre. The boys made an absolute pigs ear of it (well, they were pork but I don't think ears were included). They bought crapola meat and added a high quantity of rusk which when produced looked absolutely revolting. 
So today with time on my hands due to being off work for a week (yippee), I pootled off to a local farm shop and bought some hand reared porkers, organic potatoes and an organic onion. For one night only and for one special sitting at Fishfingerbutty Towers - Madames et monsieurs.. les sausicces, pomme de terre avec buerre et creme, l'oignon de jus. Or for those Northern types... bangers and mash with onion gravy. Chef FFB recommends that for mashed potato, use butter and warm milk (not cold) or better still, warm cream and add a touch of Marmite to the gravy. Domestic Goddess obviously.
Further Michelin star chef tips can be found at my website......


  1. You sure that middle sausage on the plate aint a duck penis ?

  2. Hi Dave - I can't vouch for the photo but certainly no part of a duck's anatomy passed my lips last night. Somehow, I doubt it ever will again after my godson put that hideous image in my head...