The latest vampire-inspired genre of tv programmes seems to be all over our screens at the moment. I sat through a DVD of Twilight over christmas and it was the longest two hours of my life. Stories of American teenage angst has never rocked my boat but Twilight was just too much to bear. You sit through watching a couple of pasty-faced, mumbling misfits who are thrown together as it becomes apparent that Mr Quiff misfit is actually a really old vampire stuck in a teenage body. He's not a Bela Lugosi type of vampire with slicked back greased back hair with a widows peak and a cape, but a Marlon Brando method type vampire who looks into the distance in deep thought while his Alannis Morrisette angst-ridden girlfriend looks into his 'soul' and tries to understand him. Eventually, the union is tied in her bedroom but I doubt he gave her a lovebite. Can't imagine Miss Unhappy Face rubbing in toothpaste and wearing polo-neck jumpers for week. Twilight is bilge of the highest order and much to the annoyance of my BF, I sat huffing, puffing and tutting with a little eye rolling thrown in for good measure.
Twilight has inspired more vampire inspired programmes on the small screen with the ubiquitous mumbling and intense leading man. True Blood has the very lovely Stephen Moyer in the leading role who gets his canine teeth out on show every now and again to get all moody and scary. Incidentally, have you noticed that intense, scary characters (especially in the vampire genre) are played by English actors? Robert Pattinson and Stephen Moyer are very nice English boys who go all James Dean when playing the Hollywood vampire.
And then there's the Vampire Diaries on ITV2. Perhaps it's because the programme contains that simple ingredient... American teenagers that has me reaching for the remote control. I come over all twitchy and tourettes-like. It happens to me a lot when flicking through channels and inadvertently select Gossip Girl, Glee, High School Musical et al.
I'm going back to my Easter egg as my blood pressure is rising when I think about Glee. I may have to go and have a lie down and try and get 'Don't Stop Believin' out of my mind....
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