I AM SERIOUS, AND DON'T CALL ME SHIRLEY....

It was sad to see yesterday's announcement of the death of Leslie Nielsen, star of Airplane and the Naked Gun series of films. I saw Airplane when I was a young lass with a group of school pals and I don't think I have ever laughed so much at a film either then or since. The zany comedy writing and deadpan acting from Leslie Nielsen made the film an absolute classic. My mates and I recited the lines of the film over and over again and some of the scenes are still fixed in my memory as absolute classics. Leslie Nielsen made his name well into middle age during the making of Airplane despite numerous previous film and tv roles. He then went on to star in the hugely successful Naked Gun series as Lieutenant Frank Drebin opposite Priscilla Presley and OJ Simpson. The beauty of Leslie Nielsen was his ability to deliver such absurd lines with complete seriousness remaining totally straight-faced. As a tribute to an actor who made me laugh until I cried, here's some of his best lines from Airplane and Naked Gun....

Neilsen: ‘Tell the captain we’ve got to land as soon as possible. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.’ 

Stewardess:  ‘A hospital?’. ‘What is it?’ 

Nielsen:  ‘It’s a big building with patients — but that’s not important right now.’

Neilsen voiceover: ‘Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.’ 

Neilsen as Drebin: ‘I’m single! I love being single! I haven’t had this much sex since I was a Boy Scout leader!’ When everyone around him stops and stares, he adds: ‘I mean at the time I was dating a lot.’

Priscilla: ‘I’ve heard police work is dangerous,’ 

Drebin: ‘It is,’  ‘That’s why I carry a big gun.’
Priscilla: ‘Aren’t you afraid it might go off accidentally?’ 

Drebin: 'I used to have that problem.’

Priscilla: ‘What did you do about it?’

Drebin: ‘I just think about baseball.’

In 1991’s Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear, he walks into a store. The female shop assistant is magnificently endowed. Seeing the police she gasps, ‘Is this some kind of bust?’

‘Well...it’s very impressive, yes,’ says Nielsen, ‘but we need to ask you a few questions.’

And my personal favourite line of all time...

Drebin: 'Nice beaver' 

Priscilla: 'thanks, I had it stuffed this morning'