HOW TO LOOK GOOD NAKED (CLUE: YOU CAN'T)

If there's one genre of television that makes me want to puke and switch channels at the earliest opportunity, it's the 'makeover' tv series. One particular gruesome example of this is Gok Wan presenting 'How To Look Good Naked'. My mum once asked me 'who is this Gok Wank person always on tv?' and although momentarily stunned, I had to admit that she had a bit of misguided insight into her malaproprism. Gok Wan is a camp as christmas 'fashion guru' who claims at every opportunity 'Hey guys, I used to be a fat waster, but girrrlfrind.. look at me now!'. His presenting style is nauseous as is his mid-Atlantic accent that grates the very core of my central nervous system. His method is to pick some self-proclaimed saddo with self-esteem problems and a penchant for Matalan trackie bottoms, then strip them down naked (yes, I'm afraid so) into their greying knickers and bra and ritually humliate them in front of mirrors and a film crew of 56. He then grabs at their muffin tops, their bottoms, their stretchmarks and their dimpled thighs before squealing something ludicrous like 'look girlfriend, you're a fat bastard and no-one wants you, but with a liddle bit of Gok magic, I can make you dress like a sexbomb and you won't know what's hit you when those orgasms start rolling in. Now are you with me girlfriend?'. For some inexplicable reason, these ladies go along with it and set off on the Gok transformation miracle. We are then treated to the Gok inspired full makeover climaxing in the catwalk 'expose' when this blubbering, unconfident lady that was, is suddenly transformed into an uber sexy jezebel with full wobbling jugs on display. Gok of course is giggling on the sidelines saying things like 'OH MY GOD, amazing!' and basking in his self-proclaimed wonder of his 'miracle'. Superficial, trivial, nonsensical tripe are a few of the words to describe it. Perhaps my mum sums it up better with Gok Wank.