TAT'S ALL FOLKS....

As well as the 2010 Barbie IT Professional, Mattel has brought out a new version of the doll with stick-on tattoos. Mattel say the idea was to bring Barbie up to date, however critics are up in arms claiming the doll will encourage the sexualisation of young girls.

The stick on tattoos include a mix of hearts, flowers, stars, rabbits and butterflies as well as a heart including the name of Barbie's slightly effeminate love interest 'Ken'. Chav-tastic...

Perhaps Mattel are trying to cash in on the current female tattooed celebs who are maybe looked upon as icons or role models for young girls. Cheryl Cole, Victoria Beckham, Angelina Jolie instantly spring to mind.

I've already suggested in a previous blog about a potential 2011 Barbie WAG, but my other suggestion inspired by living outside Blackpool...

Barbie Chav - with San Tropez tan and false nails. Hair scraped back into ponytail. Accessorised by jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos. Comes with three children by the age of 16. One black baby, one white (with ADHD) and one of Indian extraction complete with pierced ears. Barbie Chavette babies are named Courtney, Alisha and Shelby-Jade (female) and Morgan, Tyler and Chayse (male). Barbie Chav come with trackie bottoms, low cut tops, lots of makeup and a double buggy.

So what do Mattel have in pipeline for the next generation of Barbie dolls? Barbie Lesbian perhaps with her civil partner Danni? Barbie Poledancer accessorised with £10 stuffed in to her tiny G string? Barbie Katie with vacuous expression, huge silicon boobs, and a meat head cagefighter boyfriend?

Heaven forbid they bring out Barbie Surgeon, Barbie Red Arrows Pilot or Barbie Nobel Prize Winner....

BARBIE COBOL PROGRAMMER

She's been an air hostess, a showjumper and bizarrely, even an astronaut. Barbie, the perennial favourite doll with the tiny waist and impossibly long legs has now become an IT computer engineer. This follows an online vote hosted by Mattel, Barbie's makers for a new Barbie for 2010.

Her new outfit which is replicated worldwide in the offices of IBM, Microsoft et al is black spangled leggings, a lime-green fitted top patterned with binary code under a slinky waistcoast. Accessories include hot-pink glasses, watch and shoes. Barbie conducts her business on a pink laptop and has a bluetooth headset. And whilst she's crawling under desks cabling computers to IT sockets, Barbie gets down to practicalities with a pink bobble to tie her hair back into a ponytail, and pink wedgie shoes. Mattel got that bit right.. 6 inch pink stiletto heels are sooo last season in the IT industry. To me, the new Barbie just looks like Katherine Jenkins doing a promo for Dell (have ITV done laptopstar to Operastar yet?).

Call me cynical and with some previous experience in IT, this doll doesn't exactly represent a typical female IT professional. Sadly, this doll looks more like one of the HR admin girls who after a few cheeky vimtos at the work's christmas party, can usually be seen straddling and sucking the face off the IT Commercial Director before skulking off to the hotel bedroom on expenses for a bit of drunken rumpy-pumpy. Here are my suggestions for the next Barbie which I think is far more representative of today's young woman who inspire girls everywhere....

Barbie WAG. Complete with surgical breast enhancements, designer clothes from Cricket in Liverpool or Selfridges Manchester, and designer handbag and shoes. Blank, botoxed expression and limited vocabulary versions optional. Comes with premiership footballer doll called Jermaine (black ethnicity), or Wayne (white and neanderthal ethnicity). Jermaine and Wayne come with tattooed arms and clothed in hoodie, jeans and trainers. Convertible Bentley and VIP pass to Spearmint Rhino optional. To complete the Barbie WAG collection, there's Jermaine and Wayne's 'bit on the side' dolls which look very similar to Barbie WAG, but a little less well polished and wearing clothes from Primark.

Barbie Paris. Highly coiffured Barbie with high quality designer clothes with fun option of knickers falling to the ground at alarming regularity. Barbie Paris comes with vacuous expression, which lights up when a camera flashes in close proximity. Use with caution when Barbie Paris is playing with 'Ken' and there's a handheld video camera nearby. Accessorise Barbie Paris with an ugly, hairless small dog called Tinkerbell. Optional extras include a free hotel pass to any Hiltons worldwide (including continental breakfast), a TV series and a gay new best friend called Sasha.