THE FALL OF THE HEDGEHOG EMPIRE....

Autumn finally came today to Fishfingerbutty Towers. I quite like autumn as a season. The leaves change colour, there's still sun around, and all the good programmes start on tv. I love going to the Lake District in autumn and in particular, driving through the Winster valley. As well as being very picturesque, you can also pick up some very fine and very in season damsons. Local damson jam from Winster valley is just yummy. 
I sat out in my garden this morning for breakfast and thought to myself that there would be very few (if any) more weekends I'd be able to dine alfresco in pj's and with a newspaper without it blowing towards the Irish Sea. Whilst sat drinking my coffee, I heard a rustling in my bushes and started twitching with fear and dread in my heart. I was imagining toads (my phobia) or worse - a rat. And then, a hedgehog (Tiggywinkle) comes trundling out and does a circuit round my garden sniffing out the delicacies of a hedgehog breakfast. With a sigh of relief, I watch this cute little creature pootling about at breakneck speed. It ate some bread left out for the birds before ducking back in the bushes before making an appearance again to hotfoot it across my lawn to another border. I began smiling thinking isn't nature wonderful and how blessed am I that I can sit watching Blackpool's answer to the Serengeti plains right in front of me. 
All of a sudden, Tiggy took a detour and headed towards my newly jetwashed patio. Staring defiantly in my direction, he grunted and did an enormous poo.... 


I then shot him.